Am I influencing or am I showing off?

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It’s a fine balance

This is a question I am constantly asking myself and constantly worried about, if I’m honest. I’m well aware of the privileged position I’m in, and never want anyone to think I take that for granted, but I sometimes wonder if it’s maybe damaging my career in some way.

As a white, thin, straight girl from the UK I get access to a lot of opportunities that I’m aware most people don’t. I get offered books until they come out my ears, beauty products - most of which I turn down because they are in plastic - clothes and countless other items from toothbrushes to things for my cats.

I say no thank you to more than I say yes please!  to and the things I say yes to I always plan to share in some way or use and report back on.  

All seems good – right?

It is, until I then start to feel incredibly guilty for all I do have and then worry that when I share things I might look like I’m showing off in some way. I mean, I look through those influencer’s feeds that constantly show one product after another that they were gifted and start to feel uncomfortable myself. I never want to be that girl but then again, maybe I am that girl. I often feel burdened by some of the things I get sent, overwhelmed at the pressure to post but make it meaningful, while also making sure I don’t make anyone feel bad in the process.

And then I get over myself and realise that this really is a first world problem and I can also use my influence for good causes too.

It’s a fine balance and one I struggle with daily, as I don’t want to harm my career, but also showing off has never been my thing. And then I realise that on the other side, what people don’t see is the amount of time, money and effort it takes to get to the point where people are offering you things. Let alone this month, my content has cost me close to £800 to create. But who cares about that and why should you? Really, that is my choice.

I’m also very aware that this influencing game is a tightrope, one in which so much is expected of you on one hand, and you get to do a lot of what you want on the other. A career that from the outside looks easy and privileged and often braggy, yet on the inside often leaves you feeling like you can’t do wrong for doing right.

As I grow and as I become clearer on my direction, I’m getting clearer on the kind of brands I want to work with, the kind of things I want to share with my followers. These are turning into longer term relationships and I guess all I can hope for is that my followers trust me enough to pick wisely and only share with them things I truly think they will love.

What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them.

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